How Did I Get Here?

It started with a burden.

I mentioned in my last post that very shortly, in fact, just a few days from now, I will be headed to Korea as a cross-cultural intern. My purpose? To share the Good News of what Jesus did for us on the cross and be a light in a dark world. I know...it's a big step. Moving half-way across the world for two years is no easy thing. But when God puts a burden on your heart, there's no escaping it.

I don't know exactly when the burden began, but it was at a very young age the God put the desire in my heart to help reach the world with the Gospel.

I didn't know how. 

I didn't know where. 

I didn't know when.

For years, all I knew was that God was calling me to something beyond the borders of everything I have ever known. In so many ways, it was just a dream. That is until I was presented with this opportunity. An opportunity to spend two years in a different country assisting missionaries with their ministry, sharing the Gospel, and gaining a better vision and perception of what being on the mission field is like. This opportunity presented me with a chance to be a part of what God is doing around the world.

Where to, God?

Immediately, I knew that this was the how. The next question was "where?". Before I was presented with this internship, I had only been on one overseas missions trip. That trip took me to the Dominican Republic. Don't get me wrong, that trip impacted me in so many different ways and fueled my desire to be on the mission field. In those 10 days, the people captured my heart in every way. Their need for a Savior burdened my soul and they continue to hold a place in my heart. BUT, I knew that that's not where God wanted me.

The reason? As I thought and prayed about where God would want me to go on this two year excursion, I was constantly brought back to the desire to go not where my natural preferences and comforts would take me, but to a place where they needed people most. A place that was in desperate need for an extra hand. The Dominican Republic was not that place. Though I would've loved to go back, there were already several interns there and several more on the way. 

So I asked. I asked the person in charge of the internship program where there was the most need. His reply? Thailand. At that point, I had already started raising support to go to Thailand on a short term missions trip which would take place about 5 months later. (Funny how God does things like that.) Months went by and I continued pray and seek God for direction. And then came the time for me to go to Thailand. Those 10 days spent there shaped my future forever. It didn't take long before I was sold. 

I immediately saw the need not only for people to assist with the ministry there that was still getting on its feet and the missionary couple that had been there for only 5 years, but I also saw the needs of the Thai people. They needed more than an evangelist that would share the gospel expecting an immediate response. They needed someone who would take the time to build a relationship with them and SHOW them what it meant have a personal relationship with Jesus. Someone who would relentlessly pursue them with love and care, despite their social pressures and fears of rejection, no matter how long it took. They needed people who would love them to Christ. And that's what the ministry there was all about.

I could go on and on about all the wonderful and amazing things that took place in those 10 days but let's just say that God make it clear. This was where he wanted me...or so I thought.

What happens when God changes the plans?

That was the question I faced just a few weeks ago with all of my support, ready to head to Thailand. Within just a few short months, God had graciously provided me with all the support I needed to head off to Thailand as a cross-cultural intern. I had almost everything I needed. I was ready. And then this question changed everything.

I learned that due to some changes in the academic calender in Thailand, there would be no university students around until towards the end of the year. Seeing as the bulk of our ministry involved these students, the missionaries thought it best that Heather (the intern that would be accompanying me) and I complete our internship elsewhere.

Wow. 

How do you even handle that? Questions raced through our heads as we tried to figure out why this was happening, what we were gonna do, and what was even going on. 

How is it that something that once seemed so clear, so concrete, so right now, so suddenly, layed in a pile of rubble. Or so it seemed. In that moment, we were heartbroken. Thailand and the people there had become so much apart of us. They were engraved on our hearts. The question that plagued our thoughts was "where do we go from here?"  

As that question raced through my every thought, another thought pervaded. I was reminded of all the times I prayed that God would lead me to where people were needed most and where I could be used most effectively. It was never about me. It was never about my plans, my agenda, or my desires. It was about allowing God to use me in the best way that he saw fit. It was about getting the Gospel out and sharing the love of Christ no matter what country I was in.

Shortly after discovering the sudden changes that were taking place, we were presented with another need. An urgent need for English teachers in South Korea for a few months. Though the ministry in Thailand is slightly different, the two places shared the use of English as an outreach to college age students; Korea uses a formal English program while Thailand uses English camps and less formal interactions. 

Despite the differences, we almost immediately concluded that Korea was where God wanted us for now. The timing was unmistakable. Just as one door closed, another opened. Despite the heartaches and disappointment, we had to lay down our desires to God and accept the challenge he has set before us. This was no easy task, but when you think about the fact that God delivers far beyond all we could ask or think in HIS ways and HIS timing, everything becomes a little bit easier to accept. The whole situation still carries hurt, for sure, but it's comforting to know that God's plans are better than anything I could think of and his timing is perfect.

One step at a time.

And now that brings me to the question of "when?". In just a few days, I will be headed, along with Heather, to South Korea to begin teaching English and discipling students. What an awesome privilege. Though this was nothing like we had planned, I know God will do great things beyond our wildest dreams. In March, we will have the privilege of spending a month in Thailand with another group that will be there on a short term missions trip at that time. After that month, everything is up in the air. But I trust that God has something great in store no matter where he takes us. God is not limited to my narrow-minded views and plans. He's bigger than that.

My continual prayer is that my trust would be without borders.

Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us."

Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”